Grow Through It: LGBT Challenges
Rex Ogle, author of Road Home, describes being forced from his home in Texas after his sister outed him to his dad.
His father gave him a choice: if you want to be a part of this family, you must be straight, go to church, see a therapist. If you want to be gay, you will no longer be a part of the family and will be cast out. Ogle is gay and said to his dad, ‘this is me,’ and his dad kicked him out.
Ogle spent the next three months dealing with homelessness and hunger. He went to New Orleans and contacted an older gentleman he had recently met and stayed with him for a while. Since Ogle had no money and nowhere to go, there was a power differential in the relationship. Things got shifty, but he decided to stay. When he was sexually assaulted, he left.
For the rest of the time he was in New Orleans, he slept on cardboard boxes, on park benches, looked for water, looked for food, looked for somewhere to sleep. He kept telling himself he would get out of the situation. And then he went to a dark place where he wanted to end his life.
After talking himself off a bridge, he called the one person who had always been there for him — his abuela (grandmother). She invited him back into her house and helped him put his life back together.
Ogle learned that when you are on the street you become invisible to 90-95% of people. He learned to always acknowledge people on the street as living creatures who are 5 feet from you.
Looking back, he thinks his dad was trying to do what he thought was best for his son. In his dad’s words, he wanted him to be straight so he could ‘avoid a life of disease and dying alone.’
Ogle’s advice is to come out when you have a community and safety. There are resources out there now that you can just Google. Reach out if you need help. The Trevor Project is a wonderful resource for queer youth.
In going through a challenging time, he believes that sometimes you just have to hold on because you will come out of it.
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